Who is Jean Grae?

Jean is a super hero. She's better than you at doing everything. Even stuff you haven't done yet. She writes raps and makes music too. All of which are better than your raps or music, if you do that sort of thing.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Dream It.

I used to have this dream.

I was me, just regular me, but.... I had this superpower.
Well, It was TWO superpowers. Both of them useless and ineffective in fighting crime, being USEFUL, saving lives...the normal things you would expect from a superpower. They sucked. They sucked more because they were in a DREAM and couldn't even be good. You can do anything in your dreams. Me? Not so much.

I could fly. Just.. not fly in a beneficial way. I had to take a running start and hurl my body upwards. Most of the times I would just end up hitting a wall, or people, or any object in my path. It hurt and it was embarrassing.

After this running start, I could only get about five inches higher than the top of a lamp post. I couldn't fly horizontally either, I was just standing up in the air flailing about, trying to outstretch my arms in the "one arm forward the other arm bent at the elbow with a clutched fist" superhero position. I looked like an idiot.
No one in the streets around me was amazed at my skills. They pointed, laughed, guffawed... All this while I floated above them, kicking my legs like I was treading water.

What a gyp.

My second superpower was equally disappointing, but became more involved.

I could... brace yourself.....................................get down flights of stairs very quickly.

I know... you're jealous.

I would hardly touch the steps, gliding with ease, approaching landings with the speed of a stair cheetah. Yes.... I was good.
I had to use the banister though.. SAFETY FIRST!

I just felt like it wasn't fast enough though... I didn't really have any superpowers to use when I got down to the crime scene. If I could move faster, maybe I could completely defuse the entire felony. I could stop bad things from being bad things before they ever had the chance to BE bad things.

Of course, I needed advice. I told my very good friend Mr. Len about my dream. He immediately (and brilliantly) named me "Step Sister".
How did I not think of that!!???!!

We came to the decision that I could try and up my "Step Sister" abilities by adding a costume. I thought it was a brilliant idea.

So, I put together a costume in my head.

Imagine The Riddlers costume, skin tight and all. Green as well, but I had SS logos in gold, intertwined, VERY designer.

I looked ridiculously hot.

Here's the snafu in the plan... yeah.. umm.. apparently, adding costumes to your stupid super power does nothing but TAKE THE SUPER POWERS AWAY.
Completely gone. Rendered ineffective. Iksnay on the powersay. All of that.

So here I am... hearing cries of distress coming from stories below me. In this stupid costume. With this gold eye mask. Did I mention the mask? It helps to look really stupid when there's a mask. 10 flights of stairs.. took me about 5 minutes. I think I cramped up too. When I get to the bottom, people are injured.. looking at me and crying out - "Why? Where were you??? We NEEDED YOU!!! AGGGHHHH."

Stupid ass costume. I tried to take it out of the dream.. I ended up never having the dream again. I just ruined it for myself. Stupid.

I finally did have my first flying dream though. Up in the clouds flying, superhero "I'm not even TRYING" arms...all back against my side, while I wove effortlessly through the cotton candy landscape. Best part was the soundtrack... everything was silent, except for the wind and Radiohead: "How To Disappear Completely"

If that wasn't the greatest dream I ever had...I don't know what could be. If you can somehow try and get that song into your dream and just fly around for a few hours, your life could better for it. I cried when I woke up. I hope I have that one again. I'm going to shoot for that tonight.


Hain said...

Before you go to sleep tell yourself "Im going to dream myself flying, yadda yadda yadda" and hopefully you will. It worked for me, except I was always falling of something so before I knocked out I told myself I wouldn't fall. It worked!! :) Break a leg!

bring said...

I've tried but never been able to shape my dreams in any way. However, I have given my girlfriend a dream once. While she was sleeping, I told her a story about us eating ice cream at the zoo and playing with the animals. I just thought that was some funny shit and wondered if it would work. Later that morning, she described this bugged out dream she had, and I laughed my ass off.

Of course I tried to plant another dream in her head a few weeks later, one I hoped would have some benefit for me. Of course that shit did not work.

superfree said...

i can't imagine a dream that wouldn't be made perfect by "how to disappear completely"

Hawkins said...

Hey, did you know 'gyp' is a racial slur... well more like ethnic slur. It's a messed up comment on gypsies and their, perceived, less than 'honest' ways.

I don't mean to be a downer, but I don't like the word. I know you weren't using it maliciously but here are some other options:


Jay_fever said...

I've never been to good at purposely plotting out my dreams. Or if I am successful I am never aware of it the next morning. The only time I tend to remember my dreams nowadays is when I leave the tv on and something invades my dreams.

Lily Kane said...

My favorite post ever, Jean! All my interests combined. Ok, 2 of them- Lucid dreaming and Jean Grae. I recommend reading up on the subject, with practice and patience, you can have those effortless flying dreams *all the time* (And forget flying- let's talk about lucid sex dreams. Thought process: "I'm dreaming, time to fly around and have NSA sex with anyone and everyone I want," lol)

But I'm really impressed you got a Radiohead soundtrack. That's sophisticated dreaming.

BTW- I've also had the Going-down-the-stairs dream thing! I wonder what it means. But in mine, I always float down the stairs like a ghost. Not particularly fast, but clearly off the ground.

edgar c. said...

I'm gonna try harder to become lucid in my dream-state just so I can have this dream now...

Alejandro said...

U r awesome lol

Dru York said...

I think I've had a dream like this before but the only difference is that I didn't have a costume and all I could do was fly really. And not be able to land. Maybe I wasn't superhero at all. Maybe I was a migrating human-bird. SMH -_-

- http://www.druyork.com

blancito72 said...

okay, so the first thing i thought, (well, after i thought "oooh, Jean in tights? hello!") those people asking where were you? that was us, your fans, or hip hop itself, wondering wtf you were doing in that ridiculous costume and where you been. you know we like it raw. and that's when you have your power. no frills. just Jeanie Jean. that's all we want and all we need. your everyday stair cheetah swift wit and delivery. and really, we trust that's how we'll always get it. even though seeing you in tights would still be a welcome sight... =P