Who is Jean Grae?

Jean is a super hero. She's better than you at doing everything. Even stuff you haven't done yet. She writes raps and makes music too. All of which are better than your raps or music, if you do that sort of thing.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Master Cleanse Day 1 Part 1

I am stalling.

Really stalling.

I had scrambled eggs and pumpernickel toast this morning.
I really wanted some.
I decided that I should go out with my craving, on a bang.

I promised Donna I would do this, so I think part of the discipline to go through with it comes from making a promise to someone else and not breaking it.
That and how hilarious this is going to be.

In about an hour or so I'm going to go get the damn lemons and maple syrup.

I'm currently drinking Maker's Mark and a Becks.

That, is NOT part of the Master Cleanse.

This will be my second time going in on this.
The last was a couple of summers ago.

By week two, I had resorted to food tastings.
Chew, spit it out.
Look man.. don't judge.

You also start to go a little nutty in the second week.
Forgetfulness sets in, you get weak.
Someone gave me a pound and I almost fell over.
I looked like I was doing the heroin lean.

But yeah.. this is Day One PART 1

Part 2 will come this evening when I ACTUALLY begin.
This is my prep.
Now I've .. wait..

I had to turn around to hear this breaking news,

"There's a shark that was born to a virgin shark."
ME: "What? How do they know the shark is a virgin???"

I think that shark is a slutty liar.
Slutty shark.

Back to this.. Part 2 soon come. seen??????


cdotclay said...

ever since i saw kelly kapur on the office fall out due to that master cleanse...i have officially decided to offer a magnanimouslydiculous prize to the first person who actually completes the shit

Jean Grae said...

LMAO Kelly Kapur. I did NOT see that episode.
I tell you this..
If I complete the 21 days..

I expect a ginormundofragilistic prize from you.

Anonymous said...

You are hilarious. I couldn't do it. A friend of mine gave me a sip of the liquid (lemons, pepper, etc) and my stomach said NO.

Um...I'll be cheering you on in spirit.

Anonymous said...

I had a few coworkers who did that. One of whom was our HR contact. Needless to say, a lot of our office squabbles were left unresolved and our paychecks were HILARIOUSLY late. Master Cleanse is a Helluva drug.

Illogically Prophetic said...

Umm, I'd definitely downgrade to the 50 Million pound challenge where detox is 9 days and it's fruits and veggies. Anything else is umm...killer. lol

Milzika said...

haha jean I still have not had any spicy elf drinks or anything else for that matter.....how were those EGGS EH????

muMs said...

I've done it three times so far in about 5 years. the first was 10 days then 13 days then 15 days. the last time i would have went longer but i was dating this coke bottle shaped special and she liked to eat.
I haven't done it in two years and am feeling the need. i did a lot of brown liquor and cigarettes this past summer and breath hard on my walk to the train. I've been procrastinating since the end of the summer. the juice is mixed and sitting in the refrigerator. but maybe, just maybe you have inspired me. Master Cleanse and Bikram yoja, a month of each and I'll be a new man for my 40th bday. shit its on.

Torae said...

I been thinking bout doing this joint too, but I talk too much shit to walking around all weak & frag-jilly. I guess I'll get around to it eventually, good luck jerk (I say that with love)...

- Tor